Where There's A Will...The Blog. Part 2

So, we sat down with our solicitor and she made a note of our main assets, namely the house. The next decision concerned the executors of our will. Firstly, she noted who it would be if only one of us hung up our clogs (each other) and then she noted who it would be in the event of both of our deaths.

We decided on a duo to be executors - Gavin's sister and my brother, so that each would be able to dish out what was due to both sides of the family without too much fuss and dealing with people that they didn't know very well.

So that was the easy bit. All she needed was their full names and addresses.

The next decision was on guardians. Having thought about it a bit, we had become aware that there was no perfect answer to this one, other than not dying in the first place. I think if you're going to do a will, this is something that you probably have to accept.

We decided on a member of the family whose own children were getting older, whose kids love the twins and who is also very good with them, Gav's sister.

The important thing to note here is that should she and hubby become an unsuitable choice for any reason, the courts can still rule against them looking after them, if they feel it is in the children's best interest. So you needn't worry about what happens in the future, as long as it seems a sound judgement now. And you can always change the contents of a will, anyway.

What is comforting is that we are also going to be writing a letter of wishes. This will make life easier for both the executors and the guardians. We will note what we have in mind for the boys as they grow up, the hobbies and talents that we'd like them to pursue, and what sort of living we envisage for them. For example, we'd prefer Alec to be in shared accommodation with a support worker rather than in a residential home or in the family home. Personal choices like this can be noted on the letter of wishes and would no doubt prove invaluable to a guardian.

I'm sure you're the same as us, in that there are a number of people involved with looking after your child who understand them very well on a daily basis. They may be unsuitable as guardians, but that doesn't mean that they need to be left out of a will entirely. You can note in the letter of wishes the people you'd like to have influence over your child's upbringing.

For instance, Bobby's teaching assistant M'lanie knows him almost as well as I do, and Tori of course is very familiar with him as well as being an autism expert. I would not expect my sis-in-law to cope without their help. In reality, they'd dive in to support her anyway, but it's nice to note in the letter of wishes that they are trusted and 'sing from the same songsheet'.

We set up a trust as part of our will, deciding that in the event of our deaths, Bobby would obtain his inheritance at the age of 18, providing he's ok with money, and that Alec's share would be looked after by a trustee.

We actually chose two trustees, the same people as the executors, for ease. The letter of wishes that goes alongside the will is to make it clear how we feel the money should be spent, to minimise disagreements.

This was noted in draft form by the solicitor. After we returned home, we contacted the people who we'd pencilled in and asked them if it was ok. Thankfully they all said yes. Bear in mind that the trustees and executors will probably never be called upon. If we live till a ripe old age, it will be the next generation who become the executors and if we survive until Alec and Bobby are 18, the trust will not be necessary. So they know that there is a slim chance of any of this happening.

We confirmed all this to GORVINS, who set about constructing the will and trust based on our decisions. We are now at the stage of reviewing the paperwork and the onus is on us to complete it with our wishes for any personal belongings in particular - for instance jewellery that we have earmarked for a relative or friend - and of course to write that letter of wishes.

I've started the letter of wishes and it's a good feeling to set down in paper the thoughts that are in my head about my sons' futures. All the same, it's a bit depressing to imagine myself playing harps, and I'd recommend you go about it only when you're in the best of moods, preferably with your partner present!

P.S. FREE WILLS AND TRUSTS SEMINARS!

MENCAP holds seminars especially for parents of kids with disabilities.

A specialist local legal professional will talk at the events about how best to leave money behind to someone with a learning disability. The events are free and are a great opportunity for families and carers to get straightforward, face-to-face advice.

Tuesday 25th June, 6.30pm – 8.30pm
Harefield Manor Hotel, 33 Main Road, Romford, Essex, RM1 3DL

Wednesday 26th June, 12.30pm – 2.30pm
The Vestry Hall, The Vestry House, 21 Paradise Road, Richmond, TW9 1SA

Tuesday 2nd July, 12.30pm – 2.30pm
Mencap National Centre, 123 Golden Lane, London, EC1Y 0RT

To book your place at any of the events please use our online booking form: https://www.mencap.org.uk/webform/book-pffe

Mencap has planned other wills and trusts events across the country - take a look at the website www.mencap.org.uk/pffe to find one near you.

Please feel free to contact the Wills and Trusts team with any questions you might have, or to book a place on 020 7696 6925 or willsandtrusts@mencap.org.uk