I Must Be Dreaming A LOT

For Spectrumite Mum, it's not been plain sailing recently in a number of ways. First, Tori and I got virtually seasick talking boating analogies for our forthcoming feature on 'Conversation Rivers'. But don't worry dear reader (not that you were), as we've spotted dry land and I'm pleased to say that the idea is now looking like a pretty good one and is nearly ready for Jo's marvellous graphics.

So that means that it's my idea, clearly...wink wink, etc.

Meanwhile, clearly I'm not dreaming Alec, so why the need to pinch me so much? Alec, always physical but never aggressive, has started to show he loves me A LOT by inflicting mild violence upon my person. The combination of not knowing his own strength coupled with an increased influx of testosterone has let to this rather unfortunate turn of events and I for one am not waiting around to see what'll happen when he's six foot four before I nip this one in the bud.

Does he do this with anyone else? Not until recently, no, but today I got the 'uh-oh' note in Alec's communication book. Alec had not been a good boy. Alec had not been a good boy? They didn't say that of course. Alec's school would never say something like that. They just said he'd been pinching a lot. That translates roughly as: "Woah were we happy to get HIM back on the bus this afternoon!"

Spectrumite Mum rolled up her sleeves and decided that Bobby's social skills would have to go on the back burner for a bit whilst I see to it that Alec doesn't get an ASBO before he's 12.

First things first and that's to make clear that I don't like it. This doesn't seem to work, the more I look cross the more he seems to think it's funny. Maybe he likes my reaction, I think, so I push his arms away and don't say anything. He thinks that's a game called 'Scrambled Arms' which involves reaching mum's neck before she can put his arms down. Not for the first time, the famous clip in which Emu attacks Michael Parkinson springs to mind.

So none of that's worked and meanwhile I'm starting to feel less like spending time with my little attacker. Of course I love him, but when every hug turns into a hair pull or a pinch, it's rather wearing. And I'm not one of those mums who believes that I've got a kid with autism therefore I become a human punchbag. No way. One of my basics is keeping Alec safe; a close second is keeping everyone around him safe, too. Starting with me.

I've done the little visual guide that you can see here. There are no red lines through anything to indicate 'not allowed'. What the heck does that mean when you're Alec? I try my best to make sure that nothing can be misinterpreted. Instead of telling him - all those words to understand - that great reaction!

- I'm going to show him this.

Tori suggested that I gave him something squashy to play with instead of, er me. So he's squeezing Play Doh at the moment and seems to be enjoying it a lot.

Will let you know how I get on. In the meantime, I've adopted the emergency procedure, which I head back to whenever the kids are causing extra strain:


1) Ease up on self. Do less.
2) Get Dad to read Alec's bedtime story.
3) Focus on all the things Alec does right
4) Remind self that I can't possibly imagine how different his brain is to mine
5) Tell self that phases don't last
6) Hit the alcohol

ps Text talk with Tim, our guy in the office who has autism:
Me: "Pointless is cancelled for Wimbledon - having an autistic moment."
Tim: "Hi Debby you ok me ok thing best from Wimbledon Wombles tennis boring love Tim xxx"