Bobby has developed a good imagination over the last five years (he honestly didn't start this way) it's just that it's not quite the sort of imagination that makes for perfect literacy homework. Stories are on his own terms, using his own computer characters. His teachers know this and don't mind, as long as he makes an effort. Whether he makes an effort or not with English is dubious to be honest, but if he lifts a pencil and writes something on the weekend I'm generally happy.
His latest homework was How to Turn your Teacher into a Toad.
For homework, it says, write a set of instructions. Remember to include what you need, bullet points, lists, imperitive verbs and time connectives, heading and sub-heading.
A lot to remember, especially for someone who only has room for the Roblox game in his brain at the moment and is firmly not into frogs or witches. In fact the whole idea of turning Mr Cunha into a frog upset him quite a bit. "I like my teacher," he said tearfully.
Of course, it goes with the autism territory to take things a bit literally.
Take Bobby's swimming safety lesson on Friday, when the teacher demonstrated what to do when you're drowning, by splashing around and yelling 'HELP HELP!' in front of the class. Bobby panicked. "HELP HELP HELP HELP!" he shouted, fearing that the swimming instructor had suddenly lost the plot in very shallow water. After a brief calming session he was fine.
"I don't want to turn Mr Cunha into a frog!" he moaned, rather tearfully.
I am used to this. "Ok so what can we turn into a frog then?"
"A Robloxian!"
Yup, cos everyone knows what a Robloxian is. But fine, because we are finally sitting down doing literacy homework so we will not question this at all. If he wants to turn a Robloxian into a frog, that's what we'll do.
Bobby got to work.
How to Turn a Robloxian into a Toad
What you Need
- Toad potion
- Magic wand
- Toad morph
- Gun
Bob continues:
1. Let the Robloxian drink the poison, tell him/her it's witches brew (put it in the witches brew can). Tee hee.
(This is bringing out a side of my son that I'm not sure I'm altogether happy with...If I were a Robloxian, I'm not sure I'd touch witches' brew anyway).
2. Wave the magic wand and say 'Die Robloxian!'
(Again, reassessing the suitability of this game on a daily basis)
3. Morph the Robloxian with the toad morph
(It's that simple)
4. You are done! But to turn him/her back to normal, shoot him with a gun - oof!
Gavin read the homework. 'Do you think they'll report us to Social Services?' he asked.
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